The Wedding Planner

I have always loved planning parties and special events. So when I began planning my own wedding, I was thrilled and ready for the challenge. What I didn't know then was, as the bride, planning this event would be very different. I was used to being the one that coordinated the event and assured the plans were properly executed. As the bride, however, handling the wedding was out of the question. Someone else had to look after the details so the event could run smoothly.

Like a lot of brides, I enlisted my family and friends, but that created additional problems. After all, they were in the wedding too, and their attention was nearly as divided as mine. The wedding went off well, but we could not fully relax and enjoy the day. Now, with a dozen years of perspective and many weddings behind me, I can say that not having a wedding planner was the one thing I wish I could change about my own wedding. Here are some tips that might help you make that special day less of a headache and more of a memory.

Start with the wedding party and guest list. You already know the bride, groom and immediate family. Give careful thought to your maid or matron of honor, the best man, bride's maids, groomsman, flower girls, ring bearer, ushers and other members of the wedding party. Prioritize every person just in case you have to set limits to meet a budget.

The guest list needs special attention, and again, you must prioritize. Guest numbers might be limited, and you must consider the needs of both sides of the wedding party. Time permitting, send your invitations in waves with RSVP deadlines so you can invite additional guests as others decline. Talk to your parents and future in-laws to make sure their essential guests are included. Feelings can be hurt unless you take the time to get the list right.

Your wedding may be seriously influenced by your choice of facilities. The availability of your church or reception site may effect your wedding date. Plan every event separately, but, at the same time, see all events as part of the whole. Your wedding style should flow through each event to give a memorable lasting impression.

A well-planned wedding should engage all the senses. Details make this happen. Visualize the look, feel, and smells you want to invoke and create a particular feeling or style. This is easier if you work with your wedding planner. Consider the wedding party's attire. Select or design your wedding gown to make a personal statement. Floral and decor details should be consistent with your wedding style. From wedding cake to ceremonial music, every detail should be addressed separately to determine if it "fits" and presents you in the light you want for your wedding day.

All of this planning can help make your day special, but those wonderful memories will be lost unless you select and plan the photographic record with care and thought. Years after the wedding, those photographs and video images will be yours to enjoy over and over again. Wedding planners have contacts in the wedding industry. They interact with vendors on a regular basis and have working business relationships with them. Having someone handle all of the walkthrough appointments, last minute phone calls, and final payments with your vendors

will make your wedding week less stressful, and ultimately make the entire event more successful. These are just some of the many details that you should consider in planning and conducting your wedding.

Lastly, always remember that your wedding is a sacred ceremony. Through it, you and your future husband are bound together in the most important relationship that can exist - marriage. Remember that your marriage and your family relations will always be more important than any single day or any single event. Enjoy the wedding, but don't lose sight of the real reason for the day.